Adwyne de Jong’s Story
From the Occult to Christ
At the age of three my parents divorced, and thereafter contact with my father was limited to a visit once every two weeks. I was not at ease during those visits, yet no one else was aware of my feelings. There was no one to confide in apart from my mother, and I chose to not share it with her, but instead dealt with it alone, for I thought that I could handle it.
At age eight or nine I became aware of a change occurring between my father and myself. Perhaps it started earlier, but was not recognized. He was not looking at me as his daughter, but in an unhealthy sick manner, which increased over time. His behavior became a type of sexual harassment, and included bullying, gossiping, manipulating, belittling, the drinking of alcoholic beverages and other inappropriate activity, which continued until I was fourteen.
At the age of nine I was sexually assaulted by an in-law relative from my father’s side of the family. I told my mother, and she was furious; then she told my father about it. His response was to defend that family member. Five years after this incident, at the age of fourteen, I decided to tell others all about what had happened, which resulted in Child Protection and the Court system becoming involved. This resulted in my separation from my father and his side of the family, as they supported this relative in his denial of the sexual assault. Their support for him traumatized me even further.
I felt broken, sad, rejected and without a knowledge of proper boundaries. I had not experienced true love and had a false understanding of a father’s role with his child. He broke my trust, which left me feeling the pain of betrayal. however there had been some pleasant moments in life, and I clung to these to bring joy and stability into my life at the time. I very much treasured those memories.
During exam preparation in the 4th year of high school I experienced my first hyperventilation episode, a problem which was to remain with me intermittently even until today. At times paramedics came in ambulances to give me aid, and once I was taken to the hospital.
I received therapy for my psychological condition, yet without lasting benefit. What was needed was true love, yet in looking for it I found myself in unhealthy relationships. I also sought help and support through connecting with “New Age” progressive spirituality teachings, which involved a combination of yoga, neo-paganism, Theosophy and Western occultism, including astrology. I also delved into some other spirituality beliefs, yet without filling the emptiness of my soul. Thus I found myself in one state of misery following another.
A Dream and A Transformation Conversion:
Throughout childhood I had believed there was Truth somewhere, and in partaking of the teachings of the New Age and its progressive spirituality, I believed that I had found it. As a child I had attended a Christian primary school, yet did not have a true understanding of Christian fundamentals, and there were no Christian teachings in my home environment to strengthen the influence of what I had learned at school. Resistance to the idea of a living, loving God of Creation grew stronger with each traumatic event in my life, until the concept of a loving Creator God was basically non-existent in my thinking. To add to this distancing of myself from the Creator God of the Bible, I was involved in communicating with “deceased loved ones”. When alone, I would sometimes sense the presence of a spirit, which I thought were the spirits of relatives who had passed away. I would talk to them, and psychically “hear” these spirits communicating to me by means of a subdued voice heard inside my mind, as if these spirits were speaking through my voice of conscience. However in communicating with these spirits I experienced no rest or peace of mind.
My mother, who had experienced a tumultuous life, suddenly found peace and joy in accepting Jesus Christ as her personal Savior. This angered me. Also around this time I experienced rape by a person who I was having a relationship with. It was all too much for my nerves. Following a throat infection, I lost my voice for six months. During these months I spent time reflecting upon my life and that of my mother. The dramatic change in her life since she accepted Jesus
Christ as the Lord of her life impressed me, yet I was still rebelling against the idea of a loving personal God. At this time while I was a non-believer in Jesus, I developed a pleasant relationship with another non-believer.
My mother had been so against Christianity, and then had this sudden change of accepting Jesus as her Lord and Savior, which caused me to ponder long and hard as to what was it she had found that brought about such a change into happiness? In contrast, I was experiencing many frustrating situations which seemed to overwhelm me. With nowhere or no one to turn to, as a result of a profound dream experience I surrendered my rebellion against God and turned to Him in prayer. This was on February 8th, 2017. That night I had an intense dream about the end of the world: the sun was occluded and everywhere there was darkness; people were screaming and there were earthquakes with great destruction. I am unable to fully describe it all, but it was very frightening. I awoke and called out to Jesus. An immediate and difficult-to-describe sense of the warmth of love came over me. I had this feeling of the presence of God about me, and my voice began to return.
Later I realized that the dream was about the Second Coming of Jesus as described in chapter 6 of the Book of Revelation, the last book in the Bible:
12 I looked when He opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became like blood. 13 And the stars of heaven fell to the earth, as a fig tree drops its late figs when it is shaken by a mighty wind. 14 Then the sky receded as a scroll when it is rolled up, and every mountain and island was moved out of its place. 15 And the kings of the earth, the great men, the rich men, the commanders, the mighty men, every slave and every free man, hid themselves in the caves and in the rocks of the mountains, 16 and said to the mountains and rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of Him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! 17 For the great day of His wrath has come, and who is able to stand?” {Revelation 6:12-17, NKJV}.
At the time of my conversion to be a follower of Jesus Christ, I had not yet given up on some old habits that were incompatible with the teachings of the Bible, nor had I yet arrived at the place where making changes in my life-style was a priority as such. For example, I continued to indulge in the habit of watching horror movies, of communicating with the spirits of what I thought were deceased family members, and of believing that strength and healing could come
through the mystical power of crystals and sacred stones. I had grown up with this neopagan/New Age mind set. In contrast, Christianity and its biblical principles were very new to me. Over time, and through the continued study of the Bible, a love for Jesus Christ grew in my heart.
My partner at that time observed changes in me which he did not object to, as he recognized it was bringing comfort and happiness to me. He believed that, “People need something to believe in.” However, this change within me was a result of something much deeper, a love of Jesus not experienced before; so pure. I wanted to share my experience with my boyfriend, but over time it began to initiate clashes of minds. That which generated the greatest negative reaction occurred as he began to realize that my love for Jesus had become above my love for him. At the beginning of my passion for Jesus, the subject of conversion and accepting Jesus as my personal Savior and Lord, and living for him, did not bring about a difference in the relationship with my boyfriend. But over time my closer walk with God began to distress him greatly.
I was no longer the same person that my boyfriend had fallen in love with. My interests had changed. What was once humorous had now lost its sense of humor. My lifestyle was undergoing change, as were how things were perceived and evaluated. All this change was guided by the influence of a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. I realize that what was happening in my mind and my changed actions were now separating me from my boyfriend, and this caused a feeling of anxiety and fear. There was a fear that the relationship with my boyfriend would come to an end, and in reaction I began to slip backwards in my relationship with Jesus Christ, and I continued to hang onto my old contra-biblical habits and desires.
How to correct this sliding back? I needed Christian friends, and needed to put away New Age beliefs and practices. These now mainly involved the use of healing stones, watching horror movies, and communicating with deceased relatives. Through study, I realized that these practices were not in harmony with the teachings of the Bible. It was my experience of a frightening night-mare that finally motivated me to come to the decision to break away from the old life-style and say good bye to the activities that were incompatible with biblical faith.
In the nightmare experienced on May 17th of 2017, I was talking to someone in a car. The person was insulting me, and I was very perplexed. After the insulting words, this person crawled upon me in a most unhuman manner, changing in appearance so it was no longer human at all. This evil demonic entity then bit my leg and foot. I suddenly woke up, still kicking this entity from off me. I looked beside the bed, and there was a dark figure and voices saying, “Come with us. Come with us.” It was terribly frightening and I shouted out, “Jesus, save me!” Then the fear suddenly left, and the horrible dark figure and the voices vanished. The desire to return to my past ways also vanished. Amazingly, I experienced pain and soreness in my leg and foot for several days afterward.
I am very grateful for the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I have grown stronger in the faith as I have thought about that unforgettable experience. I found the love that I had been so long searching for—the love of God. I was spiritually healed. I pray for those who are immersed in the deceptions of Satan, that they also will have their eyes opened, and will comprehend that by continuing to walk in darkness they are choosing eternal damnation. Salvation is only through trusting in the merits of the shed blood of the Divine Son of God, Jesus Christ, and accepting him as our personal Savior. There are flash-backs and memories that crop up
sometimes, but I turn to the Lord to give me peace and deliverance. We are never abandoned, and I grow stronger and stronger after each challenging experience.
The mental impact of experiencing that nightmare involving the demon in the car made very realistic the Bible verse of Ephesians 6:12, and stimulated a re-evaluation of my continued communicating with deceased relatives. From the information contained in the Bible, I now knew that I was not communicating with relatives at all, but with demons, which are fallen angels under the control of Satan. The Bible forbids communication with these deceiving spirits of darkness who war against us:
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. {Ephesians 6:12, KJV}.
As Bible study continued I learned that intimate relationships were reserved for marriage, and how intimacy was a sacred part of that relationship with another person. I could not shake this conviction and had to act. I expressed to my boyfriend this conviction that intimate relationships must wait until after marriage. He found it difficult to accept this, as his concept of love was of a very different nature.
The Creator God is the source of all love; the salvation offered to the human race is bound up in this love. Love is a principle; it is more than an emotion. The love of God promotes right living and right doing. Relationships are to be guided by the love of God, and the Ten Commandments are an illustration of this principle. The first four relate to our relationship with our God and Savior, and accepting His love for us above all else. The following six commandments come from that same heavenly love, and they guide our relationships with fellow mankind. When two individuals are in a relationship guided by these principles and move into marriage, they are protected from the ravages of Satan’s unholy love that brings derision and unhappiness. That had been my unfortunate experience, and still was at that time.
My mother had accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior, and later observed a video which presented the seventh-day Sabbath. She began attending a Seventh-day Adventist church, and in time I chose to also attend it. Immediately I was convicted that I had chosen the right place of worship, and my faith continued to grow stronger. Eventually I was considering being baptized. At this point my boyfriend asked if there would be more changes in my life if I were
baptized? My answer was, “I do not know.” I was fearful of his response, as I was very fond of him. The date of May 26th 2018, was the day of my baptism, and I officially became a part of God’s family.
Several weeks later when visiting with my boyfriend, I recognized that I could easily fall back into old habits and behavior. Wanting to preserve the relationship with him, I searched the Bible to find verses that would justify my relationship with an unbeliever. Throughout the entire time of my turning to God, I was hoping that my boyfriend would join with me in repentance. But it was not to be. My prayers were for God’s will to be done in my life. The realization came that a life with my boyfriend would only steer me away from my Savior and His love, and a choice had to be made. A verse in the Bible kept coming to my memory:
“No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.” {Matthew 6:24, KJV}.
It was a choice between the love of Jesus or my relationship with the boyfriend, which I knew would draw me away from that love of Christ. Feelings can be so insidious, as pointed out in the Bible in the Book of Jeremiah:
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” { Jeremiah 17:9, KJV }
In the end it is about God. He has to be number one in our lives. My choice was made, and I chose Jesus Christ. However Satan had not given up and pulled upon me. That second dream, of being in a car with a demon, kept in my mind that a battle is going on between Christ and Satan for one’s soul. I knew the results if I did not choose God, for I would then be choosing Satan as the Lord of my life. I could not marry an unbeliever, and I felt that my prayers were answered. It was a slow realization and a very difficult choice to make.
One holds on to the hope that after marriage the partner will change and repent, but it is a high risk. God through the Scriptures has given us ample warnings. If you find yourself in such a situation as I was, I urge you to take it to the Lord in prayer.
After a total of 2 years in that relationship with my boyfriend, it all ended. It was a very difficult decision, but because of the power of God at work in my life, I set aside my own desires and chose God. In the end I had a feeling of happiness that I chose God above all else, and my relationship with Jesus Christ could now continue to grow.
At this time I prayed for an acquaintance, that he would also choose a relationship with Jesus Christ, and we could grow together. Over time I met another young man who was also searching for truth. I was cautious however, as I knew he was a Satanist, and so I kept my distance. But I just had to tell him about Jesus. Praise God that he responded and repented.
Even with our full surrender to Jesus, the devil does not refrain from attempting to seduce us into sin. However we are blessed with the life of Jesus Christ, because through his incarnation as the “Son of man” on earth he gave us an example of a life free of sin. As the “Son of God” ministering as our high priest in heaven above, Jesus imparts to us the power to resist temptation and sin:
“For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him…” {2 Chronicles 16:9, NKJV}.
In a world with billions of people, the Lord God tells us his eyes are on us, and he can read our hearts.
It is my belief that God is saying to each of us:
I am your God and Father, and I see you where you are, in your circumstances, to offer you my power in help. My eyes watch over you, My hands guide you, My grace carries you, My life via the Holy Spirit flows through you. You are never alone, I make you stronger in your circumstances, I teach you to fall back on Me in everything, and to discover that your strength is not of yourself, but can only be found in Jesus Christ. I give you my precious Son Jesus Christ. You need Him in every way. I love to show you His compassion, love and redemption. The Lord Jesus has done everything for you, He loves you so much, and His heart goes out to you every moment of the day. You can trust Him; He is your strength, your peace and tranquility, your joy, your life, your destiny. My love for you is so great and goes so deep, let yourself fall into my Father’s strong arms to His and my loving care, you My beloved child.
“But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.” {John 4: 23, NKJV}.
It is God’s desire that each one who seeks Him will respond to this invitation.
Greetings from the Netherlands.
Adwyne de Jong